This may not be the most popular or politically correct topic to discuss, but you’ve probably already thought about it. Just admit it. At some point you’ve no doubt watched the evening news or looked around in a public place, and thought to yourself, holy crap, the world is overrun by morons. Well, guess what – you’re right. Stupidity seems occur simultaneously with a very high fertility rate in most human beings. The good news is that advances in modern medical science have brought us birth control, and the government just loves making us apply for licenses for all kinds of stuff. So we can fix this.
Think about it. You have to jump through hoops to get a license to drive a car, but not to pass along your genetic material into the overall gene pool. Something is wrong here, but we can fix it by requiring a license to procreate. In case you still have some doubt, here are seven really solid reasons that stupid people should not be allowed to reproduce.
- Stupidity is a learned behavior. There’s this thing called the nature/nurture debate, in which psychologists, sociologists, biologists, and other smart people debate whether basic human characteristics are inherited through DNA or learned via behavior modeling. The funny thing about stupidity is, it doesn’t even matter whether it’s inherited or learned. If you’re born to stupid parents, you get stupid DNA, and if they raise you then you model your own behavior off of stupid people. The only time you might have a chance is if your DNA mutates a little bit and you’re placed for adoption as a baby. Otherwise, you’re doomed to be a moron. So why allow stupid people to keep adding more stupidity to the world?
- Stupid people abuse their kids. Statistics show that under-educated people are more likely to abuse their kids. Not to mention, when you’re stupid and can’t earn a living, the economic pressures are going to really stress you out. Stress equals even more anger and resentment in your life, not to mention competition for resources. So, basically, this explains why stupid people abuse their kids more often. Even if the kids are stupid, too, it’s really not their fault that they were born to idiot parents, and it’s sad when they’re abused. It’s also a huge burden on society to straighten out all of these problems, so this is another great reason to require an IQ test before issuing a license to procreate.
- Stupid people are a burden on society. Hate to break the sad news to you, but if you’re stupid you probably aren’t going to be very educated. And those who are less educated are less likely to hold a decent job. Even if you do get lucky and find something that is borderline productive to do, actually managing your life and balancing the checkbook is probably beyond your capabilities. So you end up dependent upon government handouts in order to live. Now, taking care of the less fortunate is one thing, and most of us agree that it must be done. But allowing them to multiply at a rate twice that of the common jackrabbit is probably not the best idea for taxpayers.
- If you’re stupid, you’re more likely to end up in jail. And who will raise those kids? Here’s another area where all those sociological studies are giving us some pretty solid evidence against morons reproducing at will. If you’re less intelligent and less educated, you’re also more likely to commit crimes. So first of all, we have criminals spreading their inferior seed from here to Katmanzoo, and that just creates even more future criminals. Then, of course, is the sad fact that if your parents are in jail, you get to live in one of those depressing group homes for troubled kids. We feel for the kids, but common sense tells us that there would be a lot less sadness in the world if the idiot criminal parents hadn’t procreated in the first place.
- Stupid people are racist, homophobic bigots. Think about most of the racist or homophobic people you know. Aren’t they all just a bunch of morons? Yes, yes they are. Because stupid people feel powerless in the world, and need to find someone, anyone, to make them feel superior. So they come up with these asshat ideas about black people, gay people, or whatever, because it makes them feel good about their own stupid selves. Well, the problem with this is that wars and all kinds of societal problems stem from hate. So when stupid people reproduce, they contribute more hateful jerks to the world. More hateful jerks equals more wars and more problems in society. Basically, they are breeding more than just drooling, pooping little babies. They are breeding hate. And that’s not good for anyone.
- Stupid people do stupid shit with their kids. When you’re an idiot, you tend to make really idiotic life decisions. No one actually cares if your decisions only impact your life, but there becomes a bigger problem when you have children. And stupid people tend to make some of the dumbest life choices, like drinking during pregnancy, letting child molesters babysit the kids, feeding the kids an exclusive diet of Coke and Ding Dongs, doing meth, and joining cults. Have you ever met any truly intelligent people who joined a cult, no matter how emotionally damaged they may have been? No. Only ignorant dipshits join cults. That may be one of the most extreme examples, but the point is that stupid people raise their children in the worst environments. And then the rest of society has to deal with the ramifications of those decisions. (Hint: If you don’t know what “ramifications” means, you do not need to reproduce).
- Culling the herd should work for humanity, too. Professional livestock breeders cull the herd, meaning they get rid of animals with unwanted characteristics such as laziness, susceptibility to disease, and stupidity. This is done so they can prevent those characteristics from being passed down to future offspring and infecting the entire herd with biological weakness and inferiority. Unfortunately, human beings don’t have anyone in control of their breeding to mimic this practice. Nope, we all just run around screwing anything that moves and passing along the very worst genes to our offspring. In fact, a trip to your local Walmart on any random Saturday should convince you that stupid people are not only reproducing whenever they feel like it, but they are insanely fertile. Pretty soon they’re going to outnumber the rest of us, and who the hell is going to take care of them? So really, it’s for their own good that we reduce their numbers by prohibiting their reproduction.