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16 Things Girls Hate about Guys

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Girls are half riddle, half enigma and complete wackos. Figuring out what girls want is the one subject guaranteed to cause guys to analyze. The world may never know what girls truly want, but finding out what they hate is a snap. Even if you have not been on the receiving end of a full-on girl rant, all it takes is a simple search to get the complete experience. There are thousands of girls tweeting, blogging and posting videos giving detailed “honey don’t” lists to any guys who are crazy enough or willing to listen. Every girl is different but the messages are all the same:

1. Don’t flirt with other girls.

If your girl is with you, don’t let her catch you looking at another girl. If you have a lazy eye, you better see a doctor so there is no confusion as to where you’re looking. Girls will bitch-slap you and the ho you rode in on, and don’t even try saying it’s your cousin or some shit

2. Don’t be jealous of her guy friends.

Your girl should be able to have guy friends. Just because you know these guys are still fighting to get out of the friend zone is no reason to be all controlling. No one wants that. Where’s the trust? But, remember; don’t even think about giving some other girl so much as a winkie face. Got it?

3. Don’t ignore your girl’s texts.

If you are playing Call of Duty you better pause and reply to your girl’s message immediately. It only takes a couple of seconds to text, “playin cod. brb”.  It’s totally worth getting a virtual cap in your ass, as opposed to the very real one you will get if you wait until your game is over to reply.

4. Don’t let it go to voicemail when she is returning a missed call from you.

Girls are busy and sometimes miss calls. When they get around to calling you back, answer the damn phone. They know you are just playing a stupid game and punishing them for not answering when you called them.

5. Don’t get into fights.

If some other guy is trying to move in on your girl, don’t punch the guy. Omg! She was just talking to him. You freaking caveman.

6. Don’t let other people be disrespectful to her.

If your friends or cousin say something disrespectful to your girl, you better stand up for her. A real man doesn’t stand idly by while his girl is being insulted. It’s ok to come to blows as long as it’s in her honor.

7. Don’t “like” other girls on Facebook.

Check your status, you already have a girlfriend. Don’t blow up some slut’s notification. The space on your wall is reserved for your girl only.

8. Don’t start drama on Facebook or Twitter.

Just because some guy makes a comment on your girl’s page is no reason for you to start a Twitter war. It’s embarrassing. Besides, he’s just a friend.

9. Don’t blow her off to hang out with your friends.

If you’re busy with your friends all the time, then you have no time for your girl. She just wants to see you and spend time with you. If you never see each other, what’s the point in dating?

10. Don’t try to keep her from hanging out with her friends.

She’s not going to drop her friends just because she has a boyfriend now. What kind of friend does that? Not a good one. So, don’t be so suffocating.  She needs her space and time with her girls.

11. Don’t give other girls your clothes.

Even if your girl is standing right beside you and gives you permission to loan your hoodie to a girl during a snow storm… don’t do it. Your girl is the only one allowed to steal your clothes. It makes them feel closer to you. Are trying to let that skank feel closer to you by letting her wear your hoodie?

12. Don’t just say “ok” when your girl says she’s fine.

When you ask your girl if something is wrong and she says, “I’m fine,” or “Nothing.” Don’t just say, “Ok.” You should keep asking. Besides, if you really cared she wouldn’t have to tell you. You would know what’s bothering her… you inconsiderate pig.

13. Don’t pry into her business if she doesn’t want to talk about it.

Honestly, do you have to be so clingy? Respect her boundaries. If she wanted you to know what’s going on with her, she would tell you.

14. Don’t say another girl is pretty.

Even if your girl says, “That girl is pretty, isn’t she?” You don’t even agree. You say, “Not as pretty as you are, baby,” or “What girl?” Know that if you mistakenly agree that she is pretty; your girl will snap back, “Well, if you think she’s so pretty, why don’t you just date her?” You will then spend the rest of the time groveling.

15. Don’t acronym your feelings when you text.

There’s a difference between “i<3u”; “i luv u”; and “I love you”.  If you really loved her, you would take the time to spell it out.

16. Don’t take so long to text back when you are talking to your girl.

When you take too long between replies she is wondering what is more important than talking to her. Who else are you talking to? Is it that girl you thought was so pretty at the mall the other day? Really, if you think she is so pretty, just date her.

It’s really not that complicated. Keep in mind that when a guy is getting ready to go out, he is hoping he gets laid. When a girl is getting ready to go out, she is deciding if she will get laid. Unless you are prepared to marry your right hand, get ready to ride the crazy train. Also know that she does not have penis envy. With her one vagina, she can get all the penises she wants.

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  • http://nomadiccapitalpartners.com/ Nick

    It seems like 13 and 14 contradict each other

    • Geoffrey Morris

      12 and 13 but yeah! But, I guess that’s girls, you don’t even have to try and they will get you into an argument for something you have or haven’t done. And it has been proven with this post! As it says: “Girls are half riddle, half enigma and complete wackos. ”
      hahaha

  • Euan Waugh

    I know this isn’t meant to be taken to seriously but guys really can’t win here can we.
    Points 5 and 6 directly contradict each other. Points 2,7,8,9 and 10 girls do on a very regular basis

  • Sindu

    Nice..
    All I can see in this article is just a selfish girlfriends wish..
    It’s so exaggerated that I become sympathy of the guy with that sort of girlfriends ..
    I want to ask, why the hell do guys cannot do what girls can ?
    It’s pretty much shown in number 1 & 2 & 5 is about controlling issues, so girls can control guys while guys can’t huh? is it love or prison?
    And I don’t think most girlfriends would like to see guys fighting even because of her so 6 is not really true..
    7 & 8 is quite ridiculous, so I would rather not comment much..
    9 & 10 is for selfish girlfriends..
    I thought most girls would understand the importance of life so I would rather being disliked than letting someone freeze to death like on 11
    12 & 13 is so LOL that I think you should read it yourself, if you don’t understand then nevermind me, just hope god’ll bless and guide you..
    Even the last part of 15 & 16 is a joke, one says taking time to spell out love words and another says reply quickly, just what the hell do you want?
    And the last part clearly showed that you’re not a decent girl that’s what most guys hate probably..

    Well I personally don’t really agree with your post..
    Maybe if you’re a girl, I’ll understand why ,but if you’re a guy maybe you should reconsider your thought calmly and carefully..
    By the way, nice work for putting this post, sorry for the rude words above..

    • Joyce Kcx

      Sweetheart, nothing is ever fair. Anyway, this is just a piece of article saying what girls doesnt like about guys. I doubt any guys will come across this and decided to change everything just because the article says so .

  • GoatGuy

    So… I know this post was tongue-in-cheek, but underneath the surface comedy is a real problem. Namely, that there are an aweful lot of women who, through nearly constant reinforcement, believe this crap.

    Why don’t we take it to a level of rational, post 20th century equality and respect? Try this out:

    1. Don’t flirt with other girls.

    … but it is OK to “look in the candystore window”. Sorry ladies: a guy’s idle looking is the most powerful force that he can wield to encourage you not to grow fat, complacent and crass. You need to know there’s competition. Your influence over a guy isn’t “whole” just because he’s addicted to sex. Sorry to be rude … but if YOU can have guy-friends, then guys can let their eyes rove. Tit for tat, and all that.

    2. Don’t be jealous of her guy friends.

    … Forget that. If I-the-guy is to be artificially monogamous in every way including ‘just friends’, then y’all have to be the same. Whatever sauce is good for the gander is good for the goose. That’s what equality is about.

    3. Don’t ignore your girl’s texts.

    … Ridiculous. Women may think they’ve cornered the market on being ‘the communicators in the relationship’, but more often than not, they’re also just being Chatty Cathy’s. Guys have way more options to exercise in their lives than to be tethered to every last text from a girlfriend. No matter how important you think your twitterings are, many of them just aren’t. Tech-life is like that.

    4. Don’t let it go to voicemail when she is returning a missed call from you.

    … Again, ridiculous. If you’re in a business meeting, let it go to message. If you’re in a situation that doesn’t lend itself to dropping what you’re doing to take the call, let it go to message. If she can’t understand that there is balance and reasonableness in answering phone calls, replying to text messsages, and putting time into flogging Facebook, or Twitter or any of the other social media outlets, then … perhaps she’s not “good enough” to be your chick.

    5. Don’t get into fights.

    … Actually, this is just good advice, no matter what. Take tai-kwan-do, and learn the art of getting out of fights honorably and with grace. Learn about the power of using an opponent’s chi against him. This is good, and gets you out of many a fisticuff.

    6. Don’t let other people be disrespectful to her.

    … Not a bad idea, and you should expect the same from her. You’re not just “friends” (which let friends diss each other, both in humor and in power-play), but you’re mates. Contrary to article, there’s rare need to get into a fight. Just don’t let people start dissing your girlfriend.

    7. Don’t “like” other girls on Facebook.

    Well, duh. But it should be OK to “like” people for respectful reasons, regardless of their sex. For instance, if you totally dig the philosophy of Dr. Joan Klemming, then it is must be totally OK to “like” her.

    8. Don’t start drama on Facebook or Twitter.

    Totally agree. The less Facebook and Twitter you engage in, the more likely you’ll have “deniability” when the chick in your relationship (irrationally) determines that you’ve been a cad, and need to be taken down a few notches. Written histories are like a hangman’s rope. The less the better.

    9. Don’t blow her off to hang out with your friends.

    This is ambiguous. “Blow her off” might be something she perceives, but isn’t real. If you made plans with your friends, and for whatever reason it doesn’t include the chick, then let her know, and explain why she’s not in the plan. You need a life, too. BALANCE brother, balance. After all, almost all the ‘rules’ let her have a hundred liberties for each one you claim. BALANCE.

    10. Don’t try to keep her from hanging out with her friends.

    See what I mean? You can’t with yours, but she can with hers. This is not BALANCED, and must be rejected with immediate vigor, every time the “trump card” comes up. Keep track. Demand balance. Insist it is one of the more ‘adult’ behaviors that ensure a harmonious relationship, AFTER the spoiled brat in the relationship gets used to it.

    11. Don’t give other girls your clothes.

    I have no idea what this means. It seems trite and pointless. There are precious few situations that even call for “give other people your clothes”; however, if you’re in social circles where there is some meaning attached to lending a person a hoodie, well … then just don’t do it. But what if your GF is with a gaggle of friends, and its raining, and one of her friends needs a poncho (which you have, as well as an umbrella)? Give her the damned umbrella. Or poncho. THen give your GF a hug. It’ll be fine.

    12. Don’t just say “ok” when your girl says she’s fine.

    This one is my #1 peeve, actually. Remember “BALANCE” and “TRUTHFULNESS” above? I’ve had entire relationships fall apart because of this. Women: stop thinking that you have some sort of fucking right to say the opposite of what you feel, and to call that contrarianness ‘female perogative’ or ‘empathic communication’. It is not. You’re just being contrary and coy, hoping to manipulate the relationship by making the guy subserviant to your irrational whim. Stop it. If you don’t like something, just say so when he asks, “is something wrong?”. The MORE you try to communicate in rational, reasoned fashion, the more likely you’ll get HIM to do the same, and the better off you both will be.

    13. Don’t pry into her business if she doesn’t want to talk about it.

    Absolutely spot-on: Especially if you take my reply to #12 to heart. IF you both have committed to rational, reasoned and direct communication, then when the other person doesn’t want to talk about something, it is better not to pry. If it becomes clear after awhile that something is really amiss, then you can and should gently open the channel for figuring out what it is. You know – she might not be liking something about you, or your friends, or your work hours, that needs to be aired. You’re an adult. Talk it out. TAKE ACTION when it becomes evident that something can be done, or don’t, if you want to trend toward a split.

    14. Don’t say another girl is pretty.

    Ridiculous. You should say which actresses are beautiful. They’re paid to be beautiful. You should say which of her girlfriends you think are being successful at enhancing their beauty. Per what I said at the beginning of this long reply, this is a tool which she knows full well is powerful, to encourage her to work on her physical attractiveness. And if you’re witty and have practiced good communication, then when she gets peeved (initially), then it becomes easy to just recommend that she point out who among actresses and your guy friends she finds handsome, and why. See? Equality, balance, truthfulness.

    15. Don’t acronym your feelings when you text.

    Bull… My cousin uses xxxoooxxx all the time for hugs-n-kisses. It works just fine. Using something which is private between you (and you let her know, it IS private!) is just fine, and she should get a nice feeling about it. I do with my daughter, and she loves it.

    16. Don’t take so long to text back when you are talking to your girl.

    I’m sorry. This is just advice from addicted text-a-holics. There is ONLY one kind of communication that needs to be on “instant reply”, and that’s person-to-person. Texting is NOT. It is a proxy, and often a sad proxy, for face-to-face or phone-to-phone conversations. If you REALLY (and she) want to communicate, see each other, talk to each other. Hell… 20 years ago, there was no text messaging. 30 years ago, few cell phones. 40 years ago, NO cell phones. Somehow people communicated, fell in love, and all the rest.

    FINAL WORDS…

    At the end, the advice was, “get ready to ride the crazy train”. I totally and completely disagree, with every fiber of my being. If “she’s crazy”, just remember that never goes away, and it has absolutely NO upside. None. ‘Girl crazy’ behavior doesn’t raise kids better. Crazy-unbalanced-girl doesn’t give better sex, doesn’t make better conversation, doesn’t play better in social situations. Crazy-unbalanced-girl behavior freight-trains rapidly to illogical accusations and a whole lot of backstabbing. You got to get OUT of crazy-girl-but-she-delivers relationships as fast as you can. Some other idiot will take the crazy-train in your stead. And sex, even pretty good sex, isn’t worth being on the crazy-train.

  • Andrew Tomlinson

    The shameless contradictions and silly, at best, points of contention in this article are mind-numbingly painful.

    # 2. in its own wording directly contradicts itself.It’s okay for a girl in a relationship to have male acquaintances, however, a guy having female friends is an unforgivable, unthinkable sin? (BS contradiction number 1)

    #4. Legitimately missed calls are a real thing. I can’t tell if I will be getting a call before it actually comes in, and I may not be in a location where entertaining a casual phone conversation is acceptable behavior. (e.g. at work, in a public bathroom, etc)

    By the wording of numbers 3 and 4, the applicable inference is that it is perfectly okay for her to miss/ignore his communications, but he cannot DARE to miss hers.

    #7 is simply possessive. Facebook is called ‘Facebook’ for a reason, not ‘Girlfriendbook’.

    #9-10: it’s okay for her to maintain her friendships, but all ‘male-male’ friendships must be severed immediately (BS contradiction number 2)

    #11, under normal circumstances would be understandable, but given the example used, (even if there was a snowstorm)promotes ignoring another person’s problem that he could ameliorate because, hey, girlfriend. (selfish and stupid)

    #12-13 ‘if she says everything is okay, just let it go. Don’t go looking for what isn’t there.’ At the same time: If she says ‘everything is okay, don’t dare stop there because everything is NOT okay’ *what?* (BS contradiction number 3)

    # 15-16

    Though these are not necessarily in direct contradiction, they are in significant opposition. Actually typing out full words, rather than using abbreviations takes time.

    Simply put, ‘You can’t have it both ways’. If I’m actually writing out how I feel and I can’t use abbreviations, it’s going to take some time.

    This list honestly just sounds like an adolescent’s crude understanding of the dynamics of a relationship.

  • Sameer Neelam

    Thanks a million times. If I could I would come down there and kiss your hand for such a great article. I was searching the best way to keep all the chicks in my life away and especially my now ex girlfriend from jeopardizing my career.

    I have wasted a hell lot of time on girls and screwed up my life. I should have just got like a dozen of dolls or approached prostitutes. Anyway, you fixed my problem. Every chick I ever knew hates me. Now I can be assured no girl in a 20 mile radius is ever gonna go out with me even if I beg on my knees. Now I can earn a good money, stop blowing away money on expensive gifts, spend some call of duty time with my buddies.

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